She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
