i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
