If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
