when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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