HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
