I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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