I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
