My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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