Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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