why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Little spoons don't ask big questions
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
