Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
