There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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