I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
