Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I smell stomach acid.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
