and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
