All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
