she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
