not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
