she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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