fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
