Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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