I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
