You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
