I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
