My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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