Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
