Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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