Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think your dad took our porno
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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