Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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