so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
