he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i think im in europe. pls send help
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
