When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
