I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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