Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
