Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize