That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i barfeds in our rink
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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