It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
