anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
