I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
they're like a gay fantastic four
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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