Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
