My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
