that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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