my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
