Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
