His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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