I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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