The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
