How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i out mim tonsoeep
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