piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
