I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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