16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
