so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
