fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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