I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
