Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
