You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Randomize
