There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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