I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hippo gnu deer
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
