I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
