I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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