I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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